Sleepless

I can't sleep.


Today I had my annual gynie exam. I told my nurse practitioner that my partner and I were planning to get pregnant within the next year - fingers crossed! - and we talked health insurance and ways I could tweak some requests in order to ensure that certain procedures would be covered. That was much appreciated. 


Then she told me that I had an "enlarged uterus." I asked her what on earth that meant, and she said that if I was in a heterosexual relationship she would assume I was about, oh, 8 weeks pregnant. Needless to say, all the way home I wondered whether or not it was possible that I had somehow, miraculously, thought myself pregnant. Either that, or accidentally sat on a semen-covered toilet seat 2 months ago.


According to my NP, it is far more likely that I have either:
1. An abnormally large uterus, considering my diminutive stature - the size of "a naval orange, as opposed to a - more appropriate - pear;" or
2. A harmless uterine fibroid.


I prefer to imagine that I have subconsciously willed my body into mimicking pregnancy in order to better prepare for REALBABY.


In other news, D and I have narrowed down ye olde sperm donors to a modest "Top 8." For a measly $100 we should be receiving photos of our top 2 contenders tomorrow - OH!THESUSPENSE! - and for a truly measly $30 we are sending off a request for the people at the sperm bank to "photomatch" D to our top 8 candidates. Since not all of our top 8 choices have approved a photo release (jerks.), having someone at the sperm bank rank the donors in order of likeness to D is as good as we can get to determining appearance and attractiveness.


Assessing donor profiles is a really strange process. The information you are provided with is so minimal and so... odd. Here is an example:


PHYSICAL AND PERSONAL INFORMATION:
RACE: Caucasian
ETHNIC ORIGIN: French-English-German
MARITAL STATUS: Single
RELIGION: Christianity (Totally confused as to why the addition of religion. I don't think his religious beliefs are imprinted onto his genetic code.)
HEIGHT: 5’11
WEIGHT: 160
HAIR COLOR: Brown
HAIR TYPE: Straight
EYE COLOR: Brown
EYE SIGHT: Good
SKIN COLOR: Medium
BLOOD TYPE: 0+
BONE TYPE: Medium
YEARS OF COLLEGE: 6
AREA OF STUDY: MS: Education


Note: All Cryobiology donors are average to above average looking men. Noted distinguishable characteristics such as a large nose or full lips are relative comparisons to other donors and not indicative of unattractive features. I LOVE this. I mean, thank god attractiveness is, you know, totally objective and can be determined scientifically by the good ladies and gentlemen at the sperm bank. 


DETAILS:
- square face shape
- sharp, defined, chiseled facial features
- non-prominent cheekbones
- average set, round shaped eyes that are an expressive chocolate color I should certainly hope his eyes are "expressive." That's kind of an eye's job (well, other than seeing, of course).
- dark brows and lashes that are noticeable
- thin nose rounded at the end
- prominent bridge between eyes I have no idea what this means.
- thin lips, pink color
- shy, crooked smile with upturned corners Awww... suddenly, in my mind's eye, I find this fellow with the "shy, crooked smile" endearing. I can envision his wholesomely sheepish grin and "aw shucks" shrug of the shoulders as he passes his beaker full of healthy fresh sperm over to the waiting clinician... Yeah. 
- smooth complexion
- baritone voice
- easygoing, patient, quiet personality OMG, does this mean my baby will also be easygoing, patient, and quiet? SOLD. Bring it on Mr. Crooked Smile.
- enjoys a wide spectrum of activites from camping and canoeing to fine arts and music A regular renaissance man!
- tall, slim body type 


So, as you can see, it's... weird. D and I are taking this info with a grain of salt - I mean, really, what else can we do with it? Better we find a donor who is a decent physical match for D and nurture our child's personality and interests as they develop. Isn't that all any parent can do?

(Though we did nix every single donor who had the word "fraternity" in his profile ;)

Stay tuned for the results of the photos - DYING INSIDE FROM SUSPENSE! - tomorrow. G'night.

♥ N