Results?

We got some donor photos yesterday. It was kind of a big deal. We also scammed the sperm bank, just a little. Here's the happenings:


First, I had a wonderful lunch with my dissertation advisor. Talking to her about D and I's decision to begin baby-makin' was something that I was majorly concerned about. In my worst-case-scenario, the decision to get pregnant while in grad school would "mommy-track" me - refiguring me in my advisor's eyes as someone who wasn't "serious enough" about my scholarly work and professional career to merit serious time and attention anymore. D was bothered that I would let my advisor's opinion *possibly* derail our project, but I have a lot of respect for my advisor and if she thought having a baby now would be akin to shooting myself in the foot, I would definitely have given this whole thing some more thought. Producing good scholarly work, followed by having a career in academia, are still right at the top of my list of priorities. If a baby had to wait for a few more years, it would just have to wait... but happily I don't think that is the case.


My advisor was both totally supportive and SUPER-excited for D and I. She is also a lesbian, with a long-term partner and a young child, and she was a wealth of knowledge about the process we are about to embark on. I left the meeting with a promise to trade porno films for books on pregnancy & childbirth (I'm the one getting the baby books, in case that was unclear), and feeling both personally and academically supported. I think D and I have a real advocate here now, and won't feel quite so alone as we navigate this whole thing. It was *wonderful* and a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. For realz.


(Am I still scared sh*tless? Duh. I almost hyper-ventilated on the way to our first repro appointment today, but that's another story.)


Floating on air after that conversation, I got home and there, staring at me from D's spam mailbox, are the links to the 2 donor photos we purchased. I actually started shaking, I suddenly got so nervous. So I called D and she freaked out with me - "Okay! Okay! I am on my way home right now!" - and then I waited for her to get home so we could look at them together. 


It.was.the.longest.11.minutes.of.my.life.


She got home, we smooched, we sat down in front of our 24" computer monitor, and then we clicked. 


!!!


Guy #1 = TOTALLY NOT ATTRACTIVE. Average-to-above-average my ass, sperm bank. No. Absolutely not. I slid the photo into the trashbin and D calmly ripped his donor profile to shreds.


Guy #2 = ...


This guy could be D's 1st cousin. Sh*t you not. Curly brown hair, "distinct, perfect brows," long lashes, twinkling hazel eyes, and an impish little smile. We were delighted. So we looked. And then we looked some more. We were smitten.


Then D looked at the address for the links we had been given and, scam artist that she is, realized you could simply plug other donor numbers into the address and *bam!* there are their photos! Photos that would cost us $50 each if we were law-abiding folks. We checked out our other 2 donor choices who have photos available and nixed another one right off the bat. The second we are keeping in the "possibly, maybe" file. He's not unattractive, but he doesn't look like D, so... probs not. I stopped her from looking at every single donor in the database that way - I was worried they could track that somehow and we would wind up getting a bill for $8,000 - but maybe I will let her do that after all... I'm feeling rebellious after getting some more pricing-information from the insemination folks today. Ugh.


But I will have to write about what we found out today another time. I'm a tad drained from my mid-afternoon freak-out and I have a dinner date in an hour.


♥ N